Doc Love: Getting Used

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If she has a boyfriend and she's hooking up with you, she's just using you.You can't date a girl who isn't available.If she was really into you, she would break up with the other guy.

"You don?t hang out with girls, Drazen. You date them."

This week's question comes from a reader who is in love with a girl in another relationship.
Hey Doc,

I’ve been looking through your columns and trying to find a situation close to mine. Most of the other men’s situations are missing my key problem -- the other guy. I haven't read “The System” yet.

I met Alita through my best friend two months ago. We’ve gone out for drinks and hung out on many occasions. There is a strong attraction between us. Every date ends with a heavy make-out session, but our relationship never goes further because she says she has a boyfriend. What I don’t understand is that if Alita is willing to tell me -- and show me for that matter -- the way she feels about me, then why is the boyfriend even an issue? I don’t expect any type of relationship to come of this, but I just don’t want be led on time and time again, only to be kicked to the curb at the end of the summer when she leaves town to go back to school (which is where her boyfriend lives).

I told Alita, “I just wish I wasn’t being put into the friend zone,” and she replied that she didn’t want to put me in the friend zone. Her next statement really got me, though. She said “I just want things to stay the same until I finish school. Then we’ll see what happens.”

Doc, what am I doing wrong? How can I make this work? This is the girl every man wants to marry, be with, love, and God knows I would do what it takes to make it work. Should I give up hope?

Drazen - who’s going crazy over her

Hi Drazen,

While it’s true that I give you guys a ton of information in my columns, I also hold back a lot because of the constraints of time and space. The vital, deeper information is in my book, “The System.” Unless you own and memorize that essential volume, you’re never going to successfully put all of this information together and make it work. Why? Because “The System” is the combination to the safe that contains the truth. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “The Dating Dictionary is the Bible of Romance. You’ll never know the commandments of love without it.”

You don’t hang out with girls, Drazen. You date them. But hold it right there. You’re telling me that you’re falling for a girl who already has a boyfriend? What you don’t seem to realize is that Alita is not available. When you meet a girl, you have to pass the Physical Attraction Test, she has to have at least 51% Interest Level in you, and she cannot have a boyfriend. Without having all of these requirements fulfilled, you can’t do anything with her.

If a girl has a boyfriend and she’s kissing you, all you’re ever going to be is a boy toy, somebody she plays with on the side while the other guy isn’t around. Drazen, what this means is that Alita is using you, misleading you and giving you false hope. Or, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This woman is no good.” She has no character. She has no honesty. She has no Loyalty. She has no Integrity. You can’t trust her. Otherwise, she’s great! And by the way, how do you think her boyfriend would feel if he found out that you were making out with his girl? Of course most men in America are weak when it comes to women, so he wouldn’t have the guts to get rid of her anyway.

Read on for Doc Love's prognosis for Drazen... Next Page >>

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